1. Antique Motorized Santa Claus ($1895)
“Clothes were just dry cleaned and brand new quiet motor installed.” Because the only thing creepier than an ancient, six-foot-tall Santa robot is one with a “quiet motor” that allows it to move around your house undetected…
2. Baby Ball Pythons ($150-$250)
“All babies are held regularly and are very tame.” It’s the gift that keeps on slithering.
3. Competition Swimsuit ($60)
“Wore twice, has some slight spray tan stains on the side.” Easily the most depressing item on our list, this gift comes with a matching set of crushed dreams.
4. Furby ($10)
“Great gift.” Hint: If you can’t tell whether it has eyes in its sockets, it might not be a great gift.
5. Remote Controlled Big Foot Monster ($15)
“Really good condition! Doesn’t include remote or charger.” You can’t charge his battery or control his movements, so Big Foot Monster is forever frozen in a pose that may or may not be X-rated.
6. Broken Marble Vanity Top (Free)
“Broken, but could be cut and use smaller pieces.” This wouldn’t be a true Craigslist list without a freebie.
7. Golf Table ($75)
“I have a cute table. great gift for golfer” Given that this is on Craigslist, there’s a pretty good chance that a woman cut off her husband’s legs and turned them into a table.
8. “ARKANSAS RAZORBACK FULL BODY TAXIDERMY MOUNT BOAR HOG PIG” ($950 or trade)
“Do a bit of research on what a Pig – Boar – Hog like this sells for and then come and take this Big Boy home with you!” We refuse to research stuffed pig boar hogs, but we can say this one is probably worth one grand.
Bonus: This image had to be included in the ad for some reason.
9. Remote Control Flying Shark ($25)
“We purchased it at the mall last christmas but my son put it in the closet and forgot about it.” Translation: My kid is an ungrateful punk who can’t appreciate an airborne sea predator.
10. Ted Kennedy Painting ($150)
“I have an original oil on canvas portrait of Ted Kennedy signed by Shango and dated ’83.” Ted’s expression says it all.
